Booyah.

The most random & uncomfortable situation happened a few weeks ago. A friend and I met at Applebee's for dinner and were taken to a table. Our table was close to the bar, but separated from the bar area by a half-wall and a railing. My friend Emily & I sat down and almost immediately things got uncomfortable. There were three people sitting at the table positioned perpendicular to ours - separated only by the half-wall and railing. Emily sat with her back to this table but I could see the it's occupants. Seated at this table was a middle-aged couple and a man who looked to be about 45 or 50. This man had a silver mullet down to the middle of his back and had no more than half of his teeth. Hey - I'm not judging his oral hygiene - I'm just stating the facts.

Emily & I sit down and this mulleted-wonder leans his head in between the railing, takes a few deep sniffs toward us, and says "Mmmm somethin' smells gooood!" Wow. Really, sir? As if one time weren't horrendous enough - this continued for about 5 more minutes as the couple at this man's table prodded him onward. I wish I could say we had a quick witted response for his awkward advances - but thats not the case. Eventually his attention wandered back to his beer. That meal ended with the waiter dropping a tray of glasses down the side of my body. It's a good thing he hadn't been giving us refills as often as he should have been because the glasses only had ice in them & damage was minimal. Way to go, Applebee's.

I found myself in another awkward situation in my very own front yard. The weather in Lexington has been gorgeous lately, so I decided to take advantage of it and wash my car in the driveway. So there I was, soaped up in my bikini a la Jessica Simpson . . ohh wait. I was about halfway through washing my car when a woman in a big SUV pulled up in front of my house and rolled her window down. I didn't immediately look up, but when she started speaking I glanced up. "Oh my husband would just love you!" I said nothing . . I just stood there holding a running hose and a soapy sponge with a look of bewilderment on my face. Seeing my discomfort the woman stumbled deeper into awkward by saying "I mean because you're washing a car . . ." At this point I started to feel bad for her so I managed a half smile . . but still had no words for her. Then she said "I mean because you're out here taking the initiative to wash your car . . . Ok. Well have a good day!" Her window rolled up as she drove down the street and left me confused with dried soap suds on half of my car. Awesome. Thank you, ma'am.

I'm sure there are more awkward interactions to come . . . stay tuned.

This past weekend my younger sister Jenna came to visit! She's so sweet - the whole thing was a complete surprise. Friday morning I had just gotten out of the shower and was getting ready in my bathroom when my phone rang. Jenna rarely (never) calls so I answered out of curiosity. She asked me if exit 108 was my exit. After a long pause I said "Wait, what?" Hilarious. We hung out around Lexington Friday night . . we ate deep fried pickles, saw "Twilight" for one dollar, and Jenna fell in love with Edward Cullen.

"25 Random Things" has swept Facebook. Too bad for my I wrote my list early on . . . then thought of much funnier random things about myself. Lucky for you I'm writing another one.

1. I put cayenne pepper on 80% of everything I eat. Soup, sandwiches, pizza, salads . . . everything tastes better when its spicy. I even made "chipotle chocolate chip cookies" once . . much better in theory.

2. My mom once gave me a pair of Hanukkah socks for Christmas. I thought it was intentional, but when I asked her about it she had no idea. "Oh! I thought those were just regular stars."

3. The only time I've ever had a boyfriend around Valentine's day was in 7th grade. His name was Nick. I bought him a bag of football shaped chocolates at the mall . . . and then broke up with him a few days before the 14th. I ate the chocolates.

4. I've passed out far too many times to count. A few of my personal faves include an ear piercing at the mall, during pre-surgery questioning & shots, in ballet class, playing the oboe, a self-inflicted gun wound (see # 7).

5. When I was 19 I worked for a summer at a tanning salon. One day a woman and her daughter came in asking for a job application. I handed it over & the mom told me her daughter was only 15. She was wondering if her daughter's age would be a problem & I explained that anyone under 16 could get a work permit signed by their parents to get a job. The woman nodded as I explained it before she asked "Ohh - so that's how you work here, then?" 19, people. I was 19.

6. In 8th grade a boy named Jackson sat behind me in tech ed. Jackson pulled strands of my hair out of my head every day for an entire semester. I would always whip around and tell him to knock it off - and he would just laugh his head off. Eventually I stopped feeling it - either the nerve endings in my head died or he started pulling stray hairs off of my shirt. On the last day of tech ed Jackson tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see a CLUMP of my hair strands taped together. Weirdest day of my life.

7. One summer I was in my backyard target shooting with a bb gun. I was pumping the gun after I reloaded it and my hand slipped; forcing the barrel of the gun up and cracking me in the middle of the forehead. A few things happened simultaneously after that. My head busted open, I dropped the gun, grabbed my head, started crying & my mom ran in the house yelling "Help! Laura hit herself in the head with the gun! Help!". My dad came flying outside thinking I had SHOT myself in the head. It wasn't a huge cut but it bled for a while. I probably should have had stitches . . but now I have a sweet forehead scar that I can attribute to a gun. Makes me sound pretty hardcore.

8. One Christmas morning as my sisters and I were running into the living room to open presents I accidentally tripped over/kicked our dog Madi. I still think it's coincidental, but we took her to the vet the next day and she had a broken leg. I felt bad about it for a while . . but now I'm over it. I've been super nice to her ever since to make amends.

9. The year the Colts won the Superbowl I wore two jerseys (Manning & Harrison) during every game starting with the playoffs. I'd like to think I had a little somethin' to do with the winning season & I'm still waiting to hear back on my Superbowl ring request.

10. Listening to women talk about labor & delivery makes me feel queasy. One time my sister Jessie, my mom & I were driving from Bloomington home and I made them change topics because I felt woozy. (Sorry Jes.)

11. I think the Chuck Taylor shoe trend in weddings is funny. I'm sure the first groom who decided to have his groomsmen wear them was original, but now it's just silly. Guys do it now to be different, but so many guys do it that soon it'll be as popular as dress shoes. Unless it fits the bride & groom (which is rare) it's just a strange amendment to make to wedding wear.

12. I always sleep with a heavy Maglite Flashlight next to my bed. It's about a foot long and I'm fairly certain I could knock someone out with it. Here's to hoping none of my roommates ever sneak in my room for a late-night prank . . I can pretty much guarantee it won't end with laughter.

13. My hands are always shaky. Certain triggers worsen the velocity of shakiness including working out, public speaking, dancing, and nerves.

14. For reasons beyond my control and outside my understanding . . a few boys in my youth group referred to me as "Dog Pee" for a a period of about a year. I probably should have been offended . . but it was pretty hilarious.

15. I used to have OCD tendencies with random things. When I was in high school I would write words people said on my leg with my finger, count my turn signal blinker and try to get it to click 25 times before I turned, and count syllables of words. None of this prevented me from living a normal life, so it must have been a mild case.

16. In my high school math class the teacher pushed two desks together, and we all had a math partner for the semester. I was paired with a boy named Peter who called me "Bunny Rabbit". He would steal my assignments, erase my name from the top and write "Bunny Rabbit" in its place. Anytime I raised my hand to ask a question Peter would say "Mr. Edwards! Bunny Rabbit has a question! Call on Bunny Rabbit!" The whole class thought it was pretty funny . . mostly because they didn't have to sit next to Peter.

17. I hate winking. People found this out & somehow relayed the message to a strange boy at youth group camps. He would wink at me every time we saw each other. It got weirder & weirder.

18. "Jon & Kate Plus 8" just might be the most intolerable television show on currently. It used to be cute - adorable kids runnin' around bein' crazy interspersed with random interviews with the parents, but now it's focused more on the parents & I find Kate grating, demanding, anal retentive & completely disrespectful of her husband. I also think Jon should grow a pair and stand up for himself.

19. I can't ever imagine becoming a morning person. I get my second wind around 10 pm and will often throw in a load of laundry, clean the kitchen or start organizing my room then. Ideally, I will have a job where I can work from home in the wee morning hours.

20. I have never seen any Star Wars movies. I'm not interested in them & you can't make me watch them.

21. I like liking music & tv shows that aren't mainstream. I loved "The Office" until it became a bandwagon show - now it's terrible. I loved Barnes & Wertz until they started signing with record labels & pimpin' out their fans for promotional support. "Click This!" "Sign up for this!" "Go here!" "Vote for this!" Boo!

22. I could drive from Lexington to Indianapolis through Cincinnati blindfolded. Absolutely. You wanna ride shotgun?

23. I used to love skiing, but I'm scared to go again because on my last ski trip catastrophe struck. One of my good friends was an EXCELLENT skier, grew up on the slopes with her family. She was on a black diamond course in Wisconsin . . and she skied into a ski-lift support pole. She ruptured nearly every organ in her body, broke her hip and a bunch of her ribs, shattered her shoulder and her pelvic bone. It was awful. Ever since then I've stuck to backyard sledding. I did try to snowboard once, but I spent more time moping on my butt then actually snowboarding.

24. In 4th grade I threw a pretzel at a boy sitting one table away from me. Due to my impeccable aim, I missed the boy and hit a girl in the back of the head. I yelled at my friends to play it cool, and the girl got up and told on the mystery pretzel assailant. The teacher scanned the cafeteria for the villain but found no guilty eyes, so she sent the whiny girl back to her table. After lunch was recess, and I was approached by a teacher who told me she knew I had thrown the pretzel. Some of my friends had told on me because "it was the right thing to do". I had to spend the entire recess standing up against a brick wall. Sometimes friends suck.

25. I love getting pedicures, but the occasion is instantly ruined if a man is the one administering it. I feel super awkward & they ALWAYS make inappropriate jokes. True story: My roommate & I went for pedicures in Lexington last year. We walk in & take our seats at the foot bath/reclining massage chairs from heaven and a guy walks over and takes a seat in front of me. I immediately clutch a magazine and raise it to cover my face to hide my impending embarrassment. My roommate got really chatty with the girl doing her nails, and the guy kept making comments about how I was shy and quiet. When the pedicure progressed to the lotion phase, the guy squirted no less than half of the bottle on my legs and began to massage it in. I lowered my magazine for a second and we made awkward eye contact as he asked me "Is the pressure ok?" So I replied "Yeah, it's fine." A pervy smile crept across his face and he said "Ohhh, so you like it rough?" Wow. There goes your tip . . along with my pleasant attitude.

Last week Lexington got hit by a crazy winter storm. The governor has called it "the worst disaster in the history of Kentucky". Hundreds of thousands of people went days without power and somewhere around 15 people died from hypothermia or carbon monoxide poisoning. We got about 2 inches of ice followed by around 6 inches of snow - which made for heinous outdoor conditions. My roommates & I almost went crazy being stuck in our house for so long - but we were lucky enough to have electricity the entire week. Praise God!

One night when things were particularly bad . . we sat in our living room putting together a puzzle of wedding festivities in pioneer days. Our background noise of choice was a Justin Timberlake concert DVD which may have hindered our timeliness. Hilarious.

The facts: It's 3:21 a.m. I'm chillin' in my living room. My roommates are asleep. I just finished putting a load of laundry in, washing dishes, cleaning, reorganizing & rearranging the kitchen. I'm watching "Ghost Town". It's icing & snowing outside. I watched "Ever After" tonight. Great movie. I found a new band I'm obsessed with on myspace. I went to bed last night at 8:30 after a rocky night of sleeping Saturday night. I woke up this morning at 6:30 and haven't slept since. I drank 1 cup of coffee this morning around 9:30 and I'm blaming that for my insomnia.

Lexington is currently under a "Winter Storm Warning" and I'm witnessing it. It's beautiful out - assuming you can stay wrapped in a blanket on the couch, that is. I'm hoping (praying, believing) that my classes will be cancelled tomorrow because of the heinous weather - and if that doesn't happen I'm in for a rough day.

Random story time. Last night I was in Wal-Mart stocking up on Q-tips & orange juice, the most natural of combinations, when I heard a strange page over the intercom. I could be imagining the first name they called, but I am 100% sure about the second. A lady's voice bursts over the loudspeaker and she says "Would Laura _____ (not sure of the last name) and Manning Peyton please come to the jewelry counter." I was on the phone with my mom at the time and I literally burst out into laughter. I didn't respond to my mom as she asked what was going on. I waited to hear the announcement again. "Manning Peyton, Manning Peyton please report to the jewelry counter." What. Just. Happened?! Number one: who is this pager-lady that she doesn't realize "Manning Peyton" as something other than a lost Wal-Mart child? Number two: who would page Peyton Manning in Wal-Mart? To the jewelry counter? So there I am; in my Colts fleece (Thanks Jen.) holding my phone to my ear and looking around suspiciously. I was convinced someone I knew had seen me in an aisle and decided to play a prank. After a few moments of surveying I gave up the search and went on about my shopping duties.

I wonder if my subconscious is so down trodden about the Colts season finale that I'm seeking out players in my everyday life? Will I hallucinate Joseph Addai in my backyard next? How about Jeff Saturday in my merchandising classes? Only time will tell. Walking around campus & in and out of Lexington I've seen a trend . . bandwagon NFL fans. People donning BRAND NEW Steelers & Cardinals gear and claiming they're hardcore. Right. The Superbowl is in a few days and I couldn't care less about the outcome. I lean slightly toward Arizona - the underdogs always need a few more cheerleaders. Then again; I'm a fan of anything that will yield a killer schedule & horrible draft position for an ever competitive AFC powerhouse like Pittsburgh. See the dilemma?

One thing is certain: the Superbowl can only mean one thing; March Madness is just around the corner. While thrilling; this also signals the thing I most dread each spring. The (all-too soon) return of professional baseball. (Shudders). Professional Baseball: here's my beef. You come too soon. You last way too long. You interrupt my regularly scheduled programming. You have too many games. 162?! Your playoffs are all together anti-climactic & drawn out. You monopolize Sportscenter. You give clueless girls a reason to put on cutesy hats & tiny t shirts claiming they've "been a Cubs fan like, all my life". I could go on about the ridiculous sports attire aimed at girls today; but that's another blog for another day. Pink jerseys? Really?

In conclusion; my favorite sport is over, my 2nd favorite is in the home stretch & for the next 6 months I nearly boycott ESPN.

Go see "Slumdog Millionaire" if you haven't already. You won't be disappointed. Steer clear of "Revolutionary Road" & "The Reader" & bring plenty of tissues to "Marley & Me". Fight kicking & screaming to stay far away from "Paul Blart: Mall Cop". Channel the 13 year old girl inside & fawn over "Twilight". Put your foot down & refuse "Bride Wars". Those are the only movies out I have strong opinions about.

Rent "Ghost Town". Ricky Gervais is brilliant. Speak with a British accent for 1 day. C'mon, you know you want to.

So . . Christie Brinkley & I are pretty much the same person.

Woah. The winter vacation threw a wrench in my blogging plans. Alright - I give: who wants to blog when you're surrounded by home-cooked meals, 4 crazy, unpredictable, hilarious sisters you haven't seen in months & the two cutest nieces anyone could ask for? Not this girl.

Christmas break was great - lots of relaxing, little worrying or caring, & winter nights spend lounging in a 104 degree hot tub. Loved it.

Winter break had downers, however. Boom : Colts out of the playoffs. Smack: Tony Dungy retires. I've recovered from both football-related negatives.

Over break I did something I didn't think I'd ever do. I took my car to a vehicle design store and had my windows (illegally) tinted. I'm still not entirely on board with the message it sends about me, but I do love the way it makes my car look & the air of mystery it adds to my cruises around Lexington. With the window tinting comes a hilarious story (of course) involving my mom, the window tint worker & a heinous quote from one of my favorite shows. Here's the setup:

All week I had been talking to my family about window tinting & weighing the pros and cons of such an endeavor. Will I get a ticket? What if my car is too dark? I won't get nearly as many traffic light pickups. Will I be able to see at night? What if people think I'm ridin' dirty? Is it worth the money? What if I don't like it? Do "normal" people tint their windows? Really? As these conversations went on, I found myself mostly on the defensive. While describing the visual benefits to my family my favorite MTV duo Rob & Big came to mind. If you've seen the show you may have heard them refer to their car as "murdered out". If you're on the outside lookin' in head over to urbandictionary.com and look it up. (But don't stay long)

In a family conversation I told my dad I wanted my car to be murdered out & I was met with a sea of blank stares. I caught them up on my ghetto slang & murdered out became the number one pro of tinted windows. Flash forward a week when I'm picking my car up from the auto design store. My parents and I drove over and my mom and I went in to pay & get my car keys. We walk in and there isn't anyone around at first, and after about 30 seconds a guy comes out of the back of the store.

Admittedly, this guy was attractive. Ok, that's an understatement, this guy could have been an Abercrombie model. So I'm thinkin' "Play it cool, Kinsley. He's not that good - OH MY GOSH THIS GUY IS SO HOT. CALM YOURSELF! Breathe!" as Mr. Window Tinting himself starts telling me the rules for the next few days (no rolling the windows down, using defrost will help the tint cure . . . ). I'm trying my hardest to appear attentive as I'm thinking "What is a guy like this doing working here? He could be in magazines. Or a boy band." It had snowed that morning, and my car had been tinted the night before so it was out in front of the store with about 2 or 3 inches of snow on it. My mom, trying to crack a joke, says "I think that's right where we left the car yesterday, are you sure you tinted it?" and as the joke whizzes over his head he replies "Yeah, we tinted it last night and put it out this morning, the snow is from today; it has been snowing." My mom says "Oh, ok."; clearly willing to let the joke slip away. Then the unthinkable happens. I see the light bulb over my mom's head flicker to life as my worst nightmare unfolds.

My mom took a brief pause before she says "So it's murdered out?". My very own ghetto-speak had come back to haunt me in the form of public humiliation. My mom turns to me as if I'm going to slap her five or give her a certificate of achievement. The guy behind the counter utters a short laugh and trails off with a "Yeah . . ". By this point I'm already out the front door to launch my head into a bank of snow. Thanks Mom.

Needless to say, I don't think I'm the one he remembered from the interaction. That had to have been a first for them though; murdered out isn't a common member of 50 year old woman vernacular. Way to go, Deb.

A few more brief things before I attempt a few hours of sleep.

I've been having the most hilarious & vivid dreams lately.

Usually I can think back on my day and find the trigger, but most of the recent ones are seemingly out of the blue. Last night I had a dream I was at Applebee's . . eating dinner with John Mayer. Yeah - I know. The first part of my dream we were facing each other and he had really shaggy hair & the 2nd part we were sitting next to each other & he had a buzzed head. Maybe it was 2 dates over a long period of time? I sure know how to keep 'em comin' back, that's for sure. In dream world, anyway. :) Anyway - throughout the entire dream I was consumed with thoughts of getting his autograph. Completely ridiculous as I was assuredly dating the guy. I remember at one point I broke REM and opened my eyes immediately thinking "Now you'll NEVER get the autograph."

Another dream of mine from a few nights ago was about my family. Kara was having a pool party with her friends who were all a lot younger than she was. One guest in particular, was problematic. This fat little 10 year old boy was throwing peas in our pool. I was apparently the lifeguard/pool monitor on duty so I was yellin' at him to pick 'em up and telling him he was rude. Don't look at me: I'm just as confused as you are. In the same dream Jenna was driving my brand new car as I looked on from our house. She was pulling it into the garage and giving me a huge thumbs up and waving like a maniac. I was crazy mad she was behind the wheel & yelling "GET OUT! GET OUT!" Go figure. Sorry, Jen. (But seriously, if you EVER drive my car - heads will roll.)

I've been doing research on sleeping habits lately & I've found a lot of articles stating that the way to a good night's sleep is to have a consistent wake-up time. 7 days a week. Bedtime isn't as crucial; you go to bed when your body is tired in preparation for the impending wake up call. This sounds like a good plan until I try to implement it. Monday & Wednesday I have class at 8: which means I need to leave my house at 7. A 6:30 wake up would give me enough time to get ready & eat breakfast if I showered the night before. However; Tuesdays & Thursdays I don't have class until 9:30. 3 hours of prep time seems a bit much for a day of lectures. Not to mention Friday - my day off. The thought of waking up at 6:30 on a day I have no class or plans before 10 am sounds entirely ludicrous. Don't even get me started on Saturday. Sunday is possible, I could attend the early service at church at 8:30 but it still seems like a crazy time to arise. (If anyone in my family is reading this now they're thinking "No freaking way this will ever happen." Amen.) I love sleeping a little too much to fully commit to this just yet. I do agree I need to be going to bed earlier (this post is case & point for that argument) but I can't imagine going to bed early enough to justify a 6:30 alarm clock. For instance; that is a mere 1 1/2 hours from now. Sick.

I'm gonna try to post more regularly now that I'm back at school; because let's face it - the people want more Laura & what the people want the people get. I'm a giver, what can I say.

Oh yeah - if you see me in Lex cruisin' in my tight murdered out car just assume I'm wavin' back. :)