Absolute . . .
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"25 Random Things" has swept Facebook. Too bad for my I wrote my list early on . . . then thought of much funnier random things about myself. Lucky for you I'm writing another one.
1. I put cayenne pepper on 80% of everything I eat. Soup, sandwiches, pizza, salads . . . everything tastes better when its spicy. I even made "chipotle chocolate chip cookies" once . . much better in theory.
2. My mom once gave me a pair of Hanukkah socks for Christmas. I thought it was intentional, but when I asked her about it she had no idea. "Oh! I thought those were just regular stars."
3. The only time I've ever had a boyfriend around Valentine's day was in 7th grade. His name was Nick. I bought him a bag of football shaped chocolates at the mall . . . and then broke up with him a few days before the 14th. I ate the chocolates.
4. I've passed out far too many times to count. A few of my personal faves include an ear piercing at the mall, during pre-surgery questioning & shots, in ballet class, playing the oboe, a self-inflicted gun wound (see # 7).
5. When I was 19 I worked for a summer at a tanning salon. One day a woman and her daughter came in asking for a job application. I handed it over & the mom told me her daughter was only 15. She was wondering if her daughter's age would be a problem & I explained that anyone under 16 could get a work permit signed by their parents to get a job. The woman nodded as I explained it before she asked "Ohh - so that's how you work here, then?" 19, people. I was 19.
6. In 8th grade a boy named Jackson sat behind me in tech ed. Jackson pulled strands of my hair out of my head every day for an entire semester. I would always whip around and tell him to knock it off - and he would just laugh his head off. Eventually I stopped feeling it - either the nerve endings in my head died or he started pulling stray hairs off of my shirt. On the last day of tech ed Jackson tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see a CLUMP of my hair strands taped together. Weirdest day of my life.
7. One summer I was in my backyard target shooting with a bb gun. I was pumping the gun after I reloaded it and my hand slipped; forcing the barrel of the gun up and cracking me in the middle of the forehead. A few things happened simultaneously after that. My head busted open, I dropped the gun, grabbed my head, started crying & my mom ran in the house yelling "Help! Laura hit herself in the head with the gun! Help!". My dad came flying outside thinking I had SHOT myself in the head. It wasn't a huge cut but it bled for a while. I probably should have had stitches . . but now I have a sweet forehead scar that I can attribute to a gun. Makes me sound pretty hardcore.
8. One Christmas morning as my sisters and I were running into the living room to open presents I accidentally tripped over/kicked our dog Madi. I still think it's coincidental, but we took her to the vet the next day and she had a broken leg. I felt bad about it for a while . . but now I'm over it. I've been super nice to her ever since to make amends.
9. The year the Colts won the Superbowl I wore two jerseys (Manning & Harrison) during every game starting with the playoffs. I'd like to think I had a little somethin' to do with the winning season & I'm still waiting to hear back on my Superbowl ring request.
10. Listening to women talk about labor & delivery makes me feel queasy. One time my sister Jessie, my mom & I were driving from Bloomington home and I made them change topics because I felt woozy. (Sorry Jes.)
11. I think the Chuck Taylor shoe trend in weddings is funny. I'm sure the first groom who decided to have his groomsmen wear them was original, but now it's just silly. Guys do it now to be different, but so many guys do it that soon it'll be as popular as dress shoes. Unless it fits the bride & groom (which is rare) it's just a strange amendment to make to wedding wear.
12. I always sleep with a heavy Maglite Flashlight next to my bed. It's about a foot long and I'm fairly certain I could knock someone out with it. Here's to hoping none of my roommates ever sneak in my room for a late-night prank . . I can pretty much guarantee it won't end with laughter.
13. My hands are always shaky. Certain triggers worsen the velocity of shakiness including working out, public speaking, dancing, and nerves.
14. For reasons beyond my control and outside my understanding . . a few boys in my youth group referred to me as "Dog Pee" for a a period of about a year. I probably should have been offended . . but it was pretty hilarious.
15. I used to have OCD tendencies with random things. When I was in high school I would write words people said on my leg with my finger, count my turn signal blinker and try to get it to click 25 times before I turned, and count syllables of words. None of this prevented me from living a normal life, so it must have been a mild case.
16. In my high school math class the teacher pushed two desks together, and we all had a math partner for the semester. I was paired with a boy named Peter who called me "Bunny Rabbit". He would steal my assignments, erase my name from the top and write "Bunny Rabbit" in its place. Anytime I raised my hand to ask a question Peter would say "Mr. Edwards! Bunny Rabbit has a question! Call on Bunny Rabbit!" The whole class thought it was pretty funny . . mostly because they didn't have to sit next to Peter.
17. I hate winking. People found this out & somehow relayed the message to a strange boy at youth group camps. He would wink at me every time we saw each other. It got weirder & weirder.
18. "Jon & Kate Plus 8" just might be the most intolerable television show on currently. It used to be cute - adorable kids runnin' around bein' crazy interspersed with random interviews with the parents, but now it's focused more on the parents & I find Kate grating, demanding, anal retentive & completely disrespectful of her husband. I also think Jon should grow a pair and stand up for himself.
19. I can't ever imagine becoming a morning person. I get my second wind around 10 pm and will often throw in a load of laundry, clean the kitchen or start organizing my room then. Ideally, I will have a job where I can work from home in the wee morning hours.
20. I have never seen any Star Wars movies. I'm not interested in them & you can't make me watch them.
21. I like liking music & tv shows that aren't mainstream. I loved "The Office" until it became a bandwagon show - now it's terrible. I loved Barnes & Wertz until they started signing with record labels & pimpin' out their fans for promotional support. "Click This!" "Sign up for this!" "Go here!" "Vote for this!" Boo!
22. I could drive from Lexington to Indianapolis through Cincinnati blindfolded. Absolutely. You wanna ride shotgun?
23. I used to love skiing, but I'm scared to go again because on my last ski trip catastrophe struck. One of my good friends was an EXCELLENT skier, grew up on the slopes with her family. She was on a black diamond course in Wisconsin . . and she skied into a ski-lift support pole. She ruptured nearly every organ in her body, broke her hip and a bunch of her ribs, shattered her shoulder and her pelvic bone. It was awful. Ever since then I've stuck to backyard sledding. I did try to snowboard once, but I spent more time moping on my butt then actually snowboarding.
24. In 4th grade I threw a pretzel at a boy sitting one table away from me. Due to my impeccable aim, I missed the boy and hit a girl in the back of the head. I yelled at my friends to play it cool, and the girl got up and told on the mystery pretzel assailant. The teacher scanned the cafeteria for the villain but found no guilty eyes, so she sent the whiny girl back to her table. After lunch was recess, and I was approached by a teacher who told me she knew I had thrown the pretzel. Some of my friends had told on me because "it was the right thing to do". I had to spend the entire recess standing up against a brick wall. Sometimes friends suck.
25. I love getting pedicures, but the occasion is instantly ruined if a man is the one administering it. I feel super awkward & they ALWAYS make inappropriate jokes. True story: My roommate & I went for pedicures in Lexington last year. We walk in & take our seats at the foot bath/reclining massage chairs from heaven and a guy walks over and takes a seat in front of me. I immediately clutch a magazine and raise it to cover my face to hide my impending embarrassment. My roommate got really chatty with the girl doing her nails, and the guy kept making comments about how I was shy and quiet. When the pedicure progressed to the lotion phase, the guy squirted no less than half of the bottle on my legs and began to massage it in. I lowered my magazine for a second and we made awkward eye contact as he asked me "Is the pressure ok?" So I replied "Yeah, it's fine." A pervy smile crept across his face and he said "Ohhh, so you like it rough?" Wow. There goes your tip . . along with my pleasant attitude.
1. I put cayenne pepper on 80% of everything I eat. Soup, sandwiches, pizza, salads . . . everything tastes better when its spicy. I even made "chipotle chocolate chip cookies" once . . much better in theory.
2. My mom once gave me a pair of Hanukkah socks for Christmas. I thought it was intentional, but when I asked her about it she had no idea. "Oh! I thought those were just regular stars."
3. The only time I've ever had a boyfriend around Valentine's day was in 7th grade. His name was Nick. I bought him a bag of football shaped chocolates at the mall . . . and then broke up with him a few days before the 14th. I ate the chocolates.
4. I've passed out far too many times to count. A few of my personal faves include an ear piercing at the mall, during pre-surgery questioning & shots, in ballet class, playing the oboe, a self-inflicted gun wound (see # 7).
5. When I was 19 I worked for a summer at a tanning salon. One day a woman and her daughter came in asking for a job application. I handed it over & the mom told me her daughter was only 15. She was wondering if her daughter's age would be a problem & I explained that anyone under 16 could get a work permit signed by their parents to get a job. The woman nodded as I explained it before she asked "Ohh - so that's how you work here, then?" 19, people. I was 19.
6. In 8th grade a boy named Jackson sat behind me in tech ed. Jackson pulled strands of my hair out of my head every day for an entire semester. I would always whip around and tell him to knock it off - and he would just laugh his head off. Eventually I stopped feeling it - either the nerve endings in my head died or he started pulling stray hairs off of my shirt. On the last day of tech ed Jackson tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see a CLUMP of my hair strands taped together. Weirdest day of my life.
7. One summer I was in my backyard target shooting with a bb gun. I was pumping the gun after I reloaded it and my hand slipped; forcing the barrel of the gun up and cracking me in the middle of the forehead. A few things happened simultaneously after that. My head busted open, I dropped the gun, grabbed my head, started crying & my mom ran in the house yelling "Help! Laura hit herself in the head with the gun! Help!". My dad came flying outside thinking I had SHOT myself in the head. It wasn't a huge cut but it bled for a while. I probably should have had stitches . . but now I have a sweet forehead scar that I can attribute to a gun. Makes me sound pretty hardcore.
8. One Christmas morning as my sisters and I were running into the living room to open presents I accidentally tripped over/kicked our dog Madi. I still think it's coincidental, but we took her to the vet the next day and she had a broken leg. I felt bad about it for a while . . but now I'm over it. I've been super nice to her ever since to make amends.
9. The year the Colts won the Superbowl I wore two jerseys (Manning & Harrison) during every game starting with the playoffs. I'd like to think I had a little somethin' to do with the winning season & I'm still waiting to hear back on my Superbowl ring request.
10. Listening to women talk about labor & delivery makes me feel queasy. One time my sister Jessie, my mom & I were driving from Bloomington home and I made them change topics because I felt woozy. (Sorry Jes.)
11. I think the Chuck Taylor shoe trend in weddings is funny. I'm sure the first groom who decided to have his groomsmen wear them was original, but now it's just silly. Guys do it now to be different, but so many guys do it that soon it'll be as popular as dress shoes. Unless it fits the bride & groom (which is rare) it's just a strange amendment to make to wedding wear.
12. I always sleep with a heavy Maglite Flashlight next to my bed. It's about a foot long and I'm fairly certain I could knock someone out with it. Here's to hoping none of my roommates ever sneak in my room for a late-night prank . . I can pretty much guarantee it won't end with laughter.
13. My hands are always shaky. Certain triggers worsen the velocity of shakiness including working out, public speaking, dancing, and nerves.
14. For reasons beyond my control and outside my understanding . . a few boys in my youth group referred to me as "Dog Pee" for a a period of about a year. I probably should have been offended . . but it was pretty hilarious.
15. I used to have OCD tendencies with random things. When I was in high school I would write words people said on my leg with my finger, count my turn signal blinker and try to get it to click 25 times before I turned, and count syllables of words. None of this prevented me from living a normal life, so it must have been a mild case.
16. In my high school math class the teacher pushed two desks together, and we all had a math partner for the semester. I was paired with a boy named Peter who called me "Bunny Rabbit". He would steal my assignments, erase my name from the top and write "Bunny Rabbit" in its place. Anytime I raised my hand to ask a question Peter would say "Mr. Edwards! Bunny Rabbit has a question! Call on Bunny Rabbit!" The whole class thought it was pretty funny . . mostly because they didn't have to sit next to Peter.
17. I hate winking. People found this out & somehow relayed the message to a strange boy at youth group camps. He would wink at me every time we saw each other. It got weirder & weirder.
18. "Jon & Kate Plus 8" just might be the most intolerable television show on currently. It used to be cute - adorable kids runnin' around bein' crazy interspersed with random interviews with the parents, but now it's focused more on the parents & I find Kate grating, demanding, anal retentive & completely disrespectful of her husband. I also think Jon should grow a pair and stand up for himself.
19. I can't ever imagine becoming a morning person. I get my second wind around 10 pm and will often throw in a load of laundry, clean the kitchen or start organizing my room then. Ideally, I will have a job where I can work from home in the wee morning hours.
20. I have never seen any Star Wars movies. I'm not interested in them & you can't make me watch them.
21. I like liking music & tv shows that aren't mainstream. I loved "The Office" until it became a bandwagon show - now it's terrible. I loved Barnes & Wertz until they started signing with record labels & pimpin' out their fans for promotional support. "Click This!" "Sign up for this!" "Go here!" "Vote for this!" Boo!
22. I could drive from Lexington to Indianapolis through Cincinnati blindfolded. Absolutely. You wanna ride shotgun?
23. I used to love skiing, but I'm scared to go again because on my last ski trip catastrophe struck. One of my good friends was an EXCELLENT skier, grew up on the slopes with her family. She was on a black diamond course in Wisconsin . . and she skied into a ski-lift support pole. She ruptured nearly every organ in her body, broke her hip and a bunch of her ribs, shattered her shoulder and her pelvic bone. It was awful. Ever since then I've stuck to backyard sledding. I did try to snowboard once, but I spent more time moping on my butt then actually snowboarding.
24. In 4th grade I threw a pretzel at a boy sitting one table away from me. Due to my impeccable aim, I missed the boy and hit a girl in the back of the head. I yelled at my friends to play it cool, and the girl got up and told on the mystery pretzel assailant. The teacher scanned the cafeteria for the villain but found no guilty eyes, so she sent the whiny girl back to her table. After lunch was recess, and I was approached by a teacher who told me she knew I had thrown the pretzel. Some of my friends had told on me because "it was the right thing to do". I had to spend the entire recess standing up against a brick wall. Sometimes friends suck.
25. I love getting pedicures, but the occasion is instantly ruined if a man is the one administering it. I feel super awkward & they ALWAYS make inappropriate jokes. True story: My roommate & I went for pedicures in Lexington last year. We walk in & take our seats at the foot bath/reclining massage chairs from heaven and a guy walks over and takes a seat in front of me. I immediately clutch a magazine and raise it to cover my face to hide my impending embarrassment. My roommate got really chatty with the girl doing her nails, and the guy kept making comments about how I was shy and quiet. When the pedicure progressed to the lotion phase, the guy squirted no less than half of the bottle on my legs and began to massage it in. I lowered my magazine for a second and we made awkward eye contact as he asked me "Is the pressure ok?" So I replied "Yeah, it's fine." A pervy smile crept across his face and he said "Ohhh, so you like it rough?" Wow. There goes your tip . . along with my pleasant attitude.
2 comments:
3. Awesome.
6. Holy shit, this is horrible. He probably has pillows at home made and stuffed with your hair. Ugh.
7. I, too got a call that day with mom saying, "Laura hit herself with the gun!" Fantastic.
17. *wink*
18. Agreed.
20. Don't bother
24. I wouldn't have told on you. One of my teachers in high school had a poster up that said "What's popular isn't always right, and what's right isn't always popular." Shut up, poster. I'll do what I want. Also, my group and I used Cliff notes on our final project. We got books as gifts at the end of the year and mine had a bookmark in it that had the veggietales on it and it said "A lie will trap you but the truth will set you free!" But it was only ME that got the bookmark. So I don't think it was a threat, but my friends think it was. Oh wells. I still graduated!
absolutely hilarious. I like your revised 25 things better than the first one. I know what you mean about wanting to rewrite it - I thought about it...but I figure no one cares. I interest myself though.
When are you coming home? Blog more often. I'll wink at you as much as I can. Do you miss us? Goodbye.
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