Booyah.

The most random & uncomfortable situation happened a few weeks ago. A friend and I met at Applebee's for dinner and were taken to a table. Our table was close to the bar, but separated from the bar area by a half-wall and a railing. My friend Emily & I sat down and almost immediately things got uncomfortable. There were three people sitting at the table positioned perpendicular to ours - separated only by the half-wall and railing. Emily sat with her back to this table but I could see the it's occupants. Seated at this table was a middle-aged couple and a man who looked to be about 45 or 50. This man had a silver mullet down to the middle of his back and had no more than half of his teeth. Hey - I'm not judging his oral hygiene - I'm just stating the facts.

Emily & I sit down and this mulleted-wonder leans his head in between the railing, takes a few deep sniffs toward us, and says "Mmmm somethin' smells gooood!" Wow. Really, sir? As if one time weren't horrendous enough - this continued for about 5 more minutes as the couple at this man's table prodded him onward. I wish I could say we had a quick witted response for his awkward advances - but thats not the case. Eventually his attention wandered back to his beer. That meal ended with the waiter dropping a tray of glasses down the side of my body. It's a good thing he hadn't been giving us refills as often as he should have been because the glasses only had ice in them & damage was minimal. Way to go, Applebee's.

I found myself in another awkward situation in my very own front yard. The weather in Lexington has been gorgeous lately, so I decided to take advantage of it and wash my car in the driveway. So there I was, soaped up in my bikini a la Jessica Simpson . . ohh wait. I was about halfway through washing my car when a woman in a big SUV pulled up in front of my house and rolled her window down. I didn't immediately look up, but when she started speaking I glanced up. "Oh my husband would just love you!" I said nothing . . I just stood there holding a running hose and a soapy sponge with a look of bewilderment on my face. Seeing my discomfort the woman stumbled deeper into awkward by saying "I mean because you're washing a car . . ." At this point I started to feel bad for her so I managed a half smile . . but still had no words for her. Then she said "I mean because you're out here taking the initiative to wash your car . . . Ok. Well have a good day!" Her window rolled up as she drove down the street and left me confused with dried soap suds on half of my car. Awesome. Thank you, ma'am.

I'm sure there are more awkward interactions to come . . . stay tuned.