Booyah.

Ephesians 5:22 (NIV)

Wives and Husbands

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I think so many young people today have completely lost sight of the Biblical role of husbands & wives. We hear it at weddings, then we say 'I do' and conduct our relationships as we please. God tells us to love, submit to, and respect our husbands. Love? Sure. I would say that for the most part, wives love their husbands. Submission. This ones a bit more tricky but mostly, wives submit to their husbands. Not entirely, not around the clock, not always, not freely. There is always room to improve. Now the hard one. Respect. R-E-S-P . . you get the idea. I swear, the girls around my age with husbands/boyfriends/fiancees always seem to struggle with this one. Seems like a no brainer. If you don't respect the man in your life, why is he in it?

Again - you might think this is a bit off since I'm not married & haven't experienced that relationship yet, but from what I've seen, the majority of my friends are getting it wrong. I'm sick of hearing complaints about spouses & negative attitudes overall.

Husbands & wives are supposed to be best friends, not annoyances & gossip fuel. It's sad, but I feel like people I know are getting married because they think it's the next step. They've been dating for x number of years, and they need relational change. The road forks at "break-up" and "get married" and too many couples wander the wrong way. I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with girls who are convinced they should break up with their boyfriends, only to say "We talked it over - we're gonna stay together. I mean, I do like him". Boom - married within a year. A marriage built on "like"? Good luck.

I've never had a serious enough relationship to have considered marriage, but I can tell you this: I cannot even fathom transitioning from a mindset of breaking up to one of marriage. I just think there is so much time to enjoy each other in a dating context, get to know one another, grow in that and other relationships (friends, God) and have certainty in your hearts before you make a lifetime commitment.

I heard a girl I went to school with talking about her husband recently. She was talking about another guy & how she thought he was perfect & very attractive. What she said next was unbelievable. "Sometimes I wonder if (husband's name) & I should have gotten married at all." Really? Really. Wow. She went on to say that she had always pictured herself getting married right out of college, so when she was dating a guy around that time, marriage seemed like what was supposed to happen. Quick check: since when do things happen when we think they are supposed to? Some people are so tightly wrapped up in their plans they're missing His.


All that being said: I do believe when you know you know. Some people have perfectly healthy, God-centered relationships & absolutely know after a few dates they God's best for one another. Way to go! Too bad it's not always that easy.

I'm not bashing relationships. I just think they've been skewed. This blog is as much for me as it is for anyone else. A reminder of roles & reverence is good for all of us; it's not always easy or fun but I know in the end the rewards of a healthy, Godly, passionate & protected relationship far outweigh the costs.